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Jul. 1st, 2020 | 01:50 pm
mood: contentcontent

 © audrey kawasaki 

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,  
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.  
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,  
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.  
I love you as the plant that never blooms 
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; 
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, 
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body. 
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. 
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; 
so I love you because I know no other way 
than this: where I do not exist, nor you, 
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, 
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

-Pablo Neruda

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(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2008 | 02:10 pm
mood: numbnumb
music: muse - supermassive black hole

i'm trying to get rid of some of my stuff so i'm basically having an online garage sale.


i'm selling clothes, handmade plushies, paintings, pins, jewelry, bags / purses, etc. everything's in good condition.

go there and check it out. i'll ship small things to other places but if you live in sacramento / go to school with me it'll be easier to get you your stuff.

give me feedback on the prices. I try to be fair but I tend to overprice stuff. if you want something, let me know & we'll work something out.


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artist feature.

Jun. 17th, 2008 | 07:21 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: billie holiday - on the sentimental side

"A little girl I knew was abducted.
I was very affected emotionally, and when I looked around my home town in the following days, I finally noticed all of the little fliers asking for help finding missing children. ( In America there are 1,500 missing child cases open every day. The fliers are often printed on the backs of coupons and are distributed as junk-mail.)

I just began saving the fliers, and after a year had a drawer full of them: Disposable mailers with tiny monochrome photos of missing children. It didn't seem right that these faces were so small and bland.

One night, out of nowhere, I was inspired to paint a full color portrait from one of the cards. As an artist, the question was this: How does a person paint a portrait of a missing child? I could not just approach it like an illustration. I could not just go about it as if it were a polite painting.

I began by throwing away my brushes. They were too smooth. Too pretty. Too controllable. Instead, I began using palette knives. They were difficult to control and allowed for unexpected deviations. At times, I laid out my palette and created these in very dim lighting. Surely the way a person is painted may reflect the circumstances of the person...At times the process becomes very emotional for me. Each portrait may take as many as thirty of forty sessions, as each layer adds to the depth. It's like taking the long way home. The long process avoids superficiality. I think that the complexity of the paint reflects the complexity of the child's situation.

I have met many families who thank me for painting their child. They found comfort in knowing that "someone" was thinking about their family.
Occasionally, A recovered teen will write me. They find it fascinating that a stranger was compelled to paint them during their darkened childhood.

Actually to me, these paintings are about love." 


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(no subject)

Jun. 13th, 2008 | 11:59 am

test,  new journal up.
severely lacking a layout at this point.

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